Nicodemus

My name is Nicodemus. You may have heard of me. I am the one who came to Jesus at night. It seems to me though, that over the years I have been misunderstood as to why I came to Jesus. Some people seem to think that I came to challenge Jesus. Others think that I came to learn more from another teacher. And still others think that I was a spy sent by the ruling council to see what Jesus’ real motives were. All of these reasons are far from the truth. I came to Jesus at night because I was afraid for my position, but at the same time there was something about this man that intrigued me. In one sense I wanted to know more from this man, but it wasn’t teaching that I was seeking. Maybe you can sympathize with this.

I should probably start at the beginning. I was born and raised close to Jerusalem to parents that were of the Hasidim, that is, of the pious or lawyerly ruling class. I went to the finest schools. After my coming of age I was enrolled in Rabbi Hillel’s school and studied the Torah, the Talmud, and other legal documents for years. When I finished my schooling I became part of the ruling class and a Pharisee. I was a teacher and instructed others in the way of the law. In essence, I had a comfortable life with a house and property, some servants, and a very lovely family. This was even while the Romans were ruling our society. And yet I was not entirely happy. It felt like there was something missing in my life, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. After all, I lived within strict accordance of the Talmud. I observed all of the holy requirements proscribed by the law and yet I didn’t feel holy. I felt like a fraud, living a life that should have belonged to someone else.

I first heard of this man Jesus a few days prior to my meeting with him. It was at the time of the Passover. I was in the middle of a temple observance when a commotion occurred in the temple court near the currency and sacrifice exchange. There was a man running amok, whipping the traders who had come to sell their livestock and exchange temple currency. He was in such a frenzy that not only was the coinage scattered but all of the livestock and birds as well. He kept yelling that his father’s house was not a market place and that they should all get out of there. After the temple court had been cleared, and the riot had been quelled, some of our leaders wanted to know by what authority he had to do this. What sign would he give them to claim such a right? His reply was stunning: “Destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days”. What did he mean by that? But it wasn’t just that. In the days that followed he performed many miraculous signs, and many people began to follow him. I myself did not see any of these miracles, but I heard of many, and I wondered, who is this man? I told my wife about all of this, but she dismissed it out of hand, saying that it really wasn’t any of my business. After all it was the Passover and I had other duties to take care of. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something extraordinary about this man, and so one night I went to see him. I told my wife that I had a meeting with some of the other teachers, (which isn’t a real lie is it?). I also didn’t want any of my peers to find out. After all this Jesus did challenge the whole system of the temple exchange, including all of the revenue it brought in. Would my fellow teachers, and the other leaders think that I too was challenging the system. Would they think I was being abandoning the teachings that I had grown up with? Would they think that I was being a traitor to the nation of Israel, and that I was in reality a zealot? Frankly, I was afraid of what they would think.

When I caught up with Jesus, I introduced myself to him, and then I asked him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who comes from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him”. Why was I afraid to speak as myself to this man? Why had I used the plural “we”? I did not represent the council. Was it because I knew deep down that this man was the messiah? Jesus’ reply though, threw me off guard. “I tell you the truth, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless he is born from above.” What was that about? What did he mean? I had said nothing about seeing the kingdom of God. Was he referring to the signs that he had performed? Was that part of the kingdom? And what of this phrase about being born anew? So I asked, “how can a man be born when he is old? How can a man enter his mother’s womb a second time?” I was totally confused. This man, this teacher was speaking in riddles, and I had no clue as to where he was going with all of this. And his response was just as perplexing. He said that the kingdom of God could not be entered without being born of the water and spirit, and the spirit was like the wind blowing where it would. What was he talking about? It was so incomprehensible. I asked, “How can this be?” His answer stung me. It felt like a knife ripping into my heart. “Are you a teacher, and you do not understand these thing?” I had spent almost my entire life studying, and reflecting, and living out the law; and with one rebuke it came crashing down. He said in effect, your head knowledge has nothing to do with God knowledge. I was devastated. What good was all that I knew and lived for, if it meant that I still did not know God? And then he figuratively throws the Torah in my face. He makes mention of Jacob’s ladder where the heavenly angels ascend and descend from heaven. And he then recounts the story of Moses in the desert and the trials that they had with the snakes. It was only by the grace of God that they lived, by looking upon the upraised snake intertwined on a cross. I knew this story well and only thought of it as another miracle story, giving credence to Moses’ respected place as a mighty leader and prophet. But this man, this Jesus, in both stories replaces the angels, and the snake with himself as the central figure calling himself the Son of Man.

It was what he said next that gave me pause. “Whoever believes in the Son of Man will have eternal life”. I knew of resurrection. It was what we taught, that all of the righteous would be with God in heaven and that the wicked would perish. But this was something new. He was saying that all who believe in him would have eternal life, because he was sent by God to save the entire world. After all we had been waiting for the Messiah, the anointed one to save us and to restore Israel. But the whole world? The wicked as well as the righteous? Again I had a hard time wrapping my brain around this. But in my heart I began to feel peace. I knew instinctively that what he was saying was right, even if I did not fully understand it. I wanted to hear more, but the hour was getting late, and so I left him. But he did not leave me. His words buzzed about me for days and weeks afterwards. I went back to the scrolls to find any evidence of what he was talking about. I secretly went to listen to him on several occasions. And the more I read and the more I heard, the more I realized it was how we had rejected God and yet he was faithful to us, and his desire was for us to have a relationship with Him. I realized that it was not about the Law of Moses, and that no matter how hard we tried and how many laws we had, we would not be saved, because we did not love God or his creation. We loved only our laws. So here was this man, this Jesus, this Son of Man who was in our midst, telling us that if we looked to him lifted up, we would be saved.

It wasn’t until later that I truly understood what he meant by being lifted up. Our leaders were jealous and did not want to see their way of life changed. We all had it so good in our roles. People were flocking to him, because of his teaching, and because of his miraculous signs. At one point when the council demanded Jesus be arrested, I tried to stand up for him when the temple guards couldn’t arrest him. I tried to convince the leadership that we could not condemn Jesus because of what he was saying. I didn’t say more because I thought they would toss me off the council for “treasonous speech”. You know the rest of the story. The Sanhedrin had Jesus crucified and it wasn’t until he was held aloft on the cross did I fully understand the significance of his words. Just as the snake had to die and be lifted up, so the Son of God had to die and be lifted up. And as I looked up at him, I knew that his salvation was not only for me, but also for the rest of the world. It was then I truly understood the love that God has for us. Later Joseph of Arimathea and I took the body, and prepared it for burial, knowing this was the least we could do for the Son of God.

I realize that I am not perfect. Many people have said that I was spineless, and they are right. I suppose I could have done more to prevent what had happened. But I was afraid. Afraid of what other people would think. Afraid of losing the material wealth I had. Afraid that I would be changed. But after that day, I am no longer afraid. I am changed. I have been born from above through water and the spirit. An encounter with the Son of the Living God will do that to you. And I hope that in hearing my story, or even better your own encounter with Jesus, you too might be changed, that you too will be born from above. Thank you for listening.